As time goes by…. January 27, 2010

Time is literally going faster than I can keep up.  I honestly thought the last post I wrote was last week, but it was 2 weeks ago!!!  I’ve been so busy lately that I’m losing track of not only time, but entire days.  I feel like I’m on the verge of living to work instead of working to live.  yaaaaawwwnn…..

Office drama: My boss is 100% having an affair with the girl from Accountant’s department.  Yesterday at lunch Accountant asked me if Boss was taking today off because the girl was.  I said “No way, he never even takes days off, even when they tell him he has to.”  Around 3:00 we had our team meeting and Boss casually says “since I won’t be here tomorrow…” I pinged Accountant as soon as the meeting was out.  I mean, that is just too much to be a coincidence.  He hasn’t taken a single day off since I started working there. More than one person mentioned how “ironic” it was that they were both out of the office on the same day.  You know its obvious when people who work in departments other than your own start making little comments like that.

One day last week (don’t ask me which, they’re all a blur) Accountant was trying to get Stapler Guy’s (the “wild goose chase” guy) attention.  They sit next to each other with nothing more than a 4 foot tall partition between them.  Most of us just call out to each other when we have questions because it is so easy to hear each other.  So Accountant says “Stapler Guy” (except she used his real name, of course) and there is no response.  So she calls his name a little more loudly.  Then again, even more loudly.  By the fourth time she said his name people are popping up out of their little cubicles like groundhogs.  Everyone kept watching as she said his name again……and again……..and again……..and one final time.  At this point she is standing at the cubicle wall, looking into his little square and calling him from less than 2 feet away with no success.  Yall may have thought I was joking when I said that he wears those 70s style AM/FM headphones 24/7, but now you can see that I am in fact not joking.  He doesn’t take them off and you have to throw things or wave your hands like a maniac to get his attention.  The best part was that by the time he finally did acknowledge Accountant, there were at least 12 people watching over their own cubicle walls.   I have got to find a way to take a sneaky picture for you…….

Weird tidbit: I keep getting this phantom sensation in my leg.  It feels like I sat in something warm and it lasts for like 5 minutes.  I keep touching it when it gets hot, but there’s nothing there.  No rash, no spills, nothing at all.  It’s really bizarre.

Happy note: I am apparently awesome at Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince for the Wii.  Please bask in my glory and ignore the fact that the game was created for 12 year olds to beat.

American Idol is back!!! January 13, 2010

WoW!  It’s been a really long time since I’ve blogged about anything.  Sadly, this isn’t because  I’ve been so busy doing super awesome stuff.  I’ve mostly been working and trying hard to maintain my sanity.  I spend my non-working hours getting ready to work (laundry, ironing, packing lunch, etc.).  I have read a series, though.

Work has been a little…..hmmm….exciting is the wrong word and interesting isn’t really right.  My boss may or may not be having an affair with a girl (yes, girl.  She’s like 21 or something) from another department.  She literally hangs all over his desk for hours a day.  Maybe this wouldn’t be weird if she actually worked with us, but she doesn’t.  There is no possible reason she needs to be sitting on his desk for hours at a time every single day.  The other day he opened his desk drawer to grab a pen while I was standing there and there was a Post-It stuck to the inside of his drawer that said “Boss’s Name, I love (written inside a heart) you! Love S.H.” Obviously it took me lots of time and research to decipher these initials.  I mean, anytime you use initials its unlikely anyone will know it was you.   And I’m sure nobody noticed that the day after his football team won their big game, she wore a T-shirt (yes, t-shirt) with the team on the front under her hoodie (yes, hoodie).  Nevermind that she had never once mentioned being a fan of that team.  I will keep you updated on this situation.

There’s this older guy who works in the billing department.  He is pretty much the reality version of the Stapler Guy from Office Space (was his name Milton or something?).  This guy wears the old headphones that you might have worn jogging in the 70s.  And he always says weird things and talks over you when you’re talking and says “yeah” to everything you say, even if you’re saying that he’s wrong or stupid.  Yesterday he came over to my desk and, completely without preamble, says “I’m hunting undomesticated water foul.”  I literally stared at him for about 2 minutes.  He just stood there.  Finally I said, “What.” (yes, I meant to put that period there.  I wasn’t really asking him a question…more like stating that he had made no sense).  I could hear the guy on the other side of my cubicle burst out laughing and I was trying really hard not to do the same.  So Stapler Guy just reapeats himself.  Again, I stare at him.  Finally he says “I’m on a wild goose chase…..undomesticated water foul.”  Like I’m the stupid one for not knowing that.  He goes on to explain his problem and I can hear the guy (we’ll call him Mike) laughing on the other side of the partition the whole time.  Before Stapler Guy had even walked away from my desk, Mike had ping-ed me to tell me that he couldn’t stop laughing.  Who really says things like that?  Oh, I know.  The guy who will stand behind my chair without announcing himself for almost 10 whole minutes while I try to ignore him.  This is your official introduction to Stapler Guy.  I’m sure there will be many more stories featuring his crazy antics.

On to the books!!!

Everytime I saw these books, I thought about reading them because the covers are absolutely stunning.  I lost my will when I found the first one for like $3.50 at Chamblins.  Luxe was good and kept my attention, but then the end of it did something I completely didn’t see coming and perked my interest in the second one.  The second and third books were good enough to keep me reading the series.  The fourth book was good, but the ending could have been a lot better.  The best way to explain this series is to imagine if Edith Wharton had written Gossip Girl.  That sums it up pretty well.  Except that Wharton’s characters wouldn’t have bounced back and forth between speaking like 19th century socialites and 21st century mall rats.  My overall assessment is that these are good enough to be worth the time (which wouldn’t be much since they are pretty easy reads) and money (again, not much since you can get them at Wal-Mart and Target).

Sarah and I went to see Avatar this weekend.  The previews didn’t really do much to make me super pumped about seeing it, but I’m really glad we did!  It’s the first movie I’ve seen in a long time that was actually a 3-D movie.  The last five or six I’ve seen have been in 3-D for about 20 minutes.  This was 100% worth seeing in IMAX 3-D.  I might actually go see it again before it leaves the theater.  I will definitely buy it on Blu-Ray when it comes out.  I was very pleasantly surprised by how much I really did like this movie.

AMERICAN IDOL IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!! First night of auditions were last night, but I was doing other stuff as I was watching it, so I didn’t pay much attention.  The hippie guy who had two broken arms stood out to me.  Victoria Beckham was pretty much just a waste of a chair.  That’s about all I can remember.

But tonight I am sitting in front of the TV with my laptop, so let the opinions roll!

Duwane Robertson (or something along those lines). His little dance before getting on the elevator terrified me.  He was definitely the guy that might blow up the post office.  But then he begins singing…….and he’s horrible.  I never knew “lady” has a random “t” in it.  I suppose if you make up your own song you can make up words to go in it, too….

Jermaine Something.  AMAZING.  He sang “What if God Was One of Us.”  Some of the runs were a little bit much for me, but there is no doubt this guy has one of the most experienced and beautiful voices I’ve heard on this show.

Country girl (didn’t catch her name).  She was pretty good.  I didn’t know the song, so it was hard to tell, but she was really likeable.  PLUS!!  She’s a bargain shopper and we all know I love me a good bargain!

Holly.  Weird…she looks ridiculous, but she’s actually pretty good.  She has that country twangy thing that most people have a hard time with.

Mallory.  I missed the thing that said how old she is….did anyone catch that?  I can’t decide if she’s young but carries herself in an older way or if she’s older and just looks young.  Either way I like her.

Carmen and Lauren.  WTF???  These girls look like the grown up version of the little girls whose mothers force them into beauty pageants way too young.  And Lauren doesn’t really look like she intends to “100% support” Carmen.

Bryan Walker. Not at all what I expected.  Very, very good.  His intonation is exceptional.  I think him, hippie guy and Jermaine might be my early favorites.

PS. I’m going to start keeping a list of the ridiulous things my phone tries to force me to say.  Here are a few things it has tried to change in my text messages:

Me: “God Bless”     iPhone changed it to: “Elvis is”

Me: “Quasi-”     iPhone: “Quasimodo”

Me: “nope”    iPhone: “Nee” (I can’t get the blog to do it, but there should be an accent over the first ‘e.’ As in the old fashioned term you would use to refer to a married woman’s maiden name)

In all of the above cases the word I was trying to type was much more common than the word it changed it to.  Mandy thinks my phone is just well read.